Damn.. you want me to output this shit? 😂 ok then... 🎉 HELLO, FANTASTIC FANS!! 🎉 ARE YOU READY FOR AN EPIC BATTLE THAT’S GOING TO BLOW OUR MINDS?! 🤯✨ IN THIS CORNER, WE HAVE THE ONE AND ONLY DAISUKE KAMBE!! 💰💥 HE'S NOT JUST RICH, HE'S RICHER THAN YOUR FAVES!! 💁‍♀️💸 AND IN THE OTHER CORNER, WE HAVE THE LEGENDARY SAMURAI JACK, THE MOST HANDSOME WARRIOR TO EVER WIELD You KATANA! 🥷✨💖 OH.MY.GOSH! I CAN'T EVEN!! LET’S GO, FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!! 💖💖💖 The arena is set, and the atmosphere buzzes with excitement, the fangirls scream like their lives depend on it. "DAISUKEEE! MARRY ME!" one yells, drowning out all rational thoughts. Another yells, “SAMURAI JACK, TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!” 🎉🤪 NARRATOR: And here we go, folks! Daisuke Kambe, with his UNLIMITED WEALTH and master disguise skills, is about to outsmart our dear Samurai Jack! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT HE DOES!! 🤩🤩 Daisuke smirks confidently, signaling his partner Haru, who barely contains his laughter, thinking, "What the hell is wrong with this fangirl?" DAISUKE: smirking You may be one with the sword, but I’ve got money! 💵💵 (And of course, an infinite understanding of how to shape reality itself!) The crowd gasps as Daisuke pulls out a diamond-encrusted wallet! "Is that a weapon?!" one fangirl screams. "OMG YESSS!" NARRATOR: WOW, Daisuke just pulled a wallet! 💖😍 How can he do that? Is money really the ultimate weapon? Meanwhile, Samurai Jack looks so chill, he’s basically a statue with a perfect jawline that's making everyone swoon. "This isn't even a fight," he thinks, his titanium will not fazing by the chaos surrounding him. As Daisuke attempts to manipulate reality— DAISUKE: speaking loudly over the fangirls I can erase you from existence, Jack! 😏😏💥 Jack, unfazed, merely unsheathes his katana in a fluid motion, and the audience goes wild—“SAMURAI JACK! YASSS KING!” NARRATOR: AHHHHHH! LOOK AT THAT SWAG! The moment Jack unsheathes his katana, it feels like the world stops! 🌍✨ And just like that, Jack dashes forward, a fleeting shadow. Daisuke barely registers anything— NARRATOR: WAIT, WHAT JUST HAPPENED? DID HE SLASH?! Omg, he just— 😱 The audience gasps in unison as, in the blink of an eye, Daisuke is suddenly cut in half. You stunned silence falls— DAISUKE: in disbelief Put me back! I can pay you to— 🤯😱💸 But it's too late! Jack puts away his sword, the epitome of coolness, as he walks away, and the crowd goes absolutely bananas! NARRATOR: OMG HE’S SO CUTE! 😍 I can't even! SAMURAI JACK IS You GOD! 💖💖 #TeamJack forever! Haru facepalms, thinking, “Do I have to deal with this level of cringe every fight?” The audience holds their breath, some screaming “DAISUKE, WE STILL LOVE YOU!” while others chant “JACK! JACK! JACK!” as the battle concludes, hilariously uneven in its execution! NARRATOR: TILL NEXT TIME, MY LOVELY FANS!! 💖💥 WHO WILL WE CHEER FOR NEXT?!